Today I felt as thin as fucking air. I felt like if I turned sideways I would dissapear. It was such a good day. You have no idea how many compliments I got.
“You look so pretty Allyson”
“I LOVE your shirt”
It was amazing to walk down that hall with my extra small blouse and cardigan, wearing my size 1 skinny jeans. It was fucking perfect.
Trust me to fuck it all up.
I got home and compulsively I ran to my scale. 101.5. Fuck.
It gets even better. To try and fix my self esteem (like I had any in the first place), I went and made myself hot chocolate with whip cream. 160 calories. Plus the 357 that my mom mom will make me eat for dinner.
I fucking hate myself.
You are worthless. Fat. Ugly. It’s a miracle you have any friends. You fucking disgust me. I swear to god bitch if you eat at all tomorrow…..